Fizzlebert Stump Read online

  It took more than a month for Frank and Tommy and Frank’s brother-in-law to clean the Stinkthrottles’ house. Frank made trip after trip to the tip, throwing out sack after sack of rubbish and junk (you can look at the descriptions in Chapters Six, Seven and Nine to get an idea of what they had throw out).

  Everything had to be destroyed, all the furniture, all the curtains, the lot: it was all too rotten to keep. (Tommy tried shampooing the curtains, for example, but they just turned to rags as he touched them: too rotten and mouldy.)

  Frank’s brother-in-law scrubbed the walls down with industrial bleach and Tommy killed the fleas and bedbugs that infested the place. Fortunately he had a mate who worked in the nearby city zoo, and they kindly gave a new home (with plenty of fresh air and room to stretch the old wings) to the two mangy parrots that had been shut away in the upstairs room. After a fortnight they even stopped swearing (except when they caught a glimpse of an old lady through the zoo’s crowds).

  The big clean was a big job indeed, but eventually it was done and the house was spotless and smelled fresh and clean once more.

  All the Stinkthrottles’ money had gone on the cleaning. They couldn’t afford to buy new furniture and so they spent their time sitting quietly in the middle of their empty living room, on the two wooden chairs that had survived.

  While Mr Stinkthrottle leant his head on one side and closed his eyes, Mrs Stinkthrottle just sat and muttered to herself. She was never quite right after Charles had sucked her head. Something in her was scared the lion would come back if she dropped some litter, even in her front room. Her eyes bulged and she kept looking over her shoulder.

  For all I know, or care, they might still be sitting there now.

  And that’s where this book ends. Most of the people are happy and everyone has learnt valuable lessons, as they should at the end of a book. Personally, I’m not sure what the lessons are exactly, but if you were paying attention then maybe you know.

  Readers Say . . .

  “It’s funny, fantastic and ridiculous. I would put it in my top five books of all time, and I’ve read a lot of books – probably at least three thousand.”

  Milo, age 8

  “Evil old people, a sea lion in a sparkly jacket and a lion called Charles with false teeth! What more could you want? I laughed my socks off.”

  Florence, age 9

  “This book is like the 100 best books in the world put together!”

  Hugo, age 10

  “A great story that made me fizz with laughter!”

  Felix, age 12

  Bloomsbury Publishing, London, New Delhi, New York and Sydney

  First published in Great Britain in 2012 by Bloomsbury Publishing Plc

  50 Bedford Square, London, WC1B 3DP

  This electronic edition published in June 2012 by Bloomsbury Publishing Plc

  Copyright © A.F. Harrold 2012

  Illustrations copyright © Sarah Horne 2012

  The moral right of the author and illustrator have been asserted

  All rights reserved

  You may not copy, distribute, transmit, reproduce or otherwise

  make available this publication (or any part of it) in any form, or by any means

  (including without limitation electronic, digital, optical, mechanical, photocopying,

  printing, recording or otherwise), without the prior written permission of the

  publisher. Any person who does any unauthorised act in relation to this publication

  may be liable to criminal prosecution and civil claims for damages

  A CIP catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library

  ISBN 9781408830215

  www.afharrold.com

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